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May 2009

.......

29 May 2009 0

She has no special talent
No special beauty mark
No invention with a patent
No voice of a comely lark

No hourglass physique
No sunbeam likened smile
No lingering mystique
No manicured nails to file

But what she had she flaunted
With the style of a fur- lined stole
With the chic of a runway model
She flashed her beautiful soul

Most Beautiful Woman In The World

jungkit jungkit

27 May 2009 8

Seorang kawan berkata;
Dugaan semasa bercinta itu lebih besar daripada selepas kahwin.

Mungkin tak ramai setuju.

Tapi lihat dari konteks ini.

Apa ada pada cinta?

Cuma persetujuan dua hati sahaja. Tiada tanggungjawab yang terikat. Tak kewajipan langsung. Tak wajib seorang boifren menggembirakan hati girlfrennya. Tak berdosa kalau dia tak balas SMS berhari-hari. Tak berdosa kalau tak senyum bila jumpa. Tak wajib ambil hantar girlfren ke tempat kerja/ tempat belajar. Tak berdosa kalau tak jumpa atau bercakap dalam telefon. Bukan kesalahan besar kalau boifren tidak memberi perhatian yang girlfren rasa dia deserve. Tak salahnya kalau pasangan tak menunjukkan concern ketika demam selsema etc.

Maka tiada salah apa-apa pun kalau jikalau salah seorang daripada mereka tidak mengikut the so-called 'rules and regulation semasa bercinta.'(before marriage)

Kerana ia tak wujud.

Mainan perasaan semata. Direka cipta sendiri untuk kepuasan hati sendiri.

Maka, disebabkan tiada ikatan tanggungjawab tersebut, sekiranya ada badai besar yang melanda, dan mereka terpisah, apakah yang boleh menjamin bahawa mereka akan kekal bersama satu hari nanti even without the expression of love and care? Tiada janji dan sumpah setia? Tiada kata- kata manis?

Takperlu fikirkan kaum keluarga serta sanak saudara sendiri ataupun mertua, tak perlu fikirkan anak- anak, tak perlu fikirkan kawan-kawan anda dan kawan-kawan dia, tak perlu fikirkan prosedur mahkamah yang leceh, tak perlu fikirkan apa yang seharusnya dilakukan selepas berpisah, tiada masalah pembahagian harta, tak perlu fikirkan label masyarakat.

In short, senang sekali kalau pasangan bercinta yang berpisah itu mahu terus untuk tidak bersama. Dan untuk berfikir mereka tidak perlu bersama lagi in the future. Orang yang sedang bercinta boleh saja kata - Tiada orang lain buat saya, apa-apapun yang terjadi, dia tetap menjadi pilihan saya.-

But, can the ones who have been separated for years said that? And mean it?

Not many.

Ya... tiada apa yang boleh mengikat mereka.

Except faith of a strong heart.

Never think of it in this way before. Thanks to you, who brought it up.

guidance

24 May 2009 1

My Lord, my Liege...

Bimbing lah saya agar apa yang saya hendak putuskan ini adalah keputusan yang bersesuaian dengan keadaan ini. Saya tahu yang saya minta lain. Tapi kalau gerak hati ini adalah kerja-Mu, maka saya harap Awak redhakan dan tetapkan hati saya dengan keputusan ni.

Saya dah tak mampu nak jadi lalang. Sekejap saya rasa saya dah ok, sekejap saya masuk kembali dalam lubang yang saya gali sendiri ( bak kata Adelyn). Dan setiap kali pun saya cipta reason sendiri untuk jadi okay.

Saya rasa cukup saya ber-delusi setakat ini. Saya tak layak nak mintak tolong Awak, saya maklum sangat hal tu, tapi sudah tak ada manusia yang boleh tolong saya lagi.

Saya cuma mahu minta kekuatan untuk beranjak ke hadapan. Tiada apa yang berubah. Tapi saya perlukan anjakan tersebut. Saya tak tahu bagaimana saya hendak lakukannya, saya ingin bertanya kepada dia sementara ada kesempatan ini, tapi masih belum ada 'lampu hijau' lagi.

Kepada yang membaca dan merasa konfius, tak perlu merasa begitu kerana ini surat kepada Awak-ku.

(ah...i sound bitter)

riiight...

0

- I hope what I am doing is right... and appropriate...and not provoking...-

Jeng jeng jeng jeng jeng

23 May 2009 0

-if remembering is the same as consuming a balang of gula for each thought, i would've gone for diabetic coma dah-

flat....

21 May 2009 0

Saya rasa nak pengsan.

Sakit telinga dan kepala makin menjadi- jadi pula.

Badan pun jadi lembik sangat.

Mata dah separa terbuka sambil menaip ni.

Lepas maghrib ni saya nak tido. Dan bangun semula dalam pukul 10, insyAllah. Banyak kerja nak dibuat ni.

Dah azan maghrib dah.

La la land

0

Imagine...

My father actually had contact with a royal family from an unknown country. His Royal Highness and his family came to visit us last night after so many years being separated. His wife, and 3 children. Eldest son and his two daughters.

Strange. I could not remember any of them.

According to my father, me and the son used to be close during our childhood, spending our time together playing around the kingdom. Both of us looked at each other. Smile on our lips. And he said - Dad used to say that we were in love with each other when we were kids.-

Incredulous!

How could I not remember being in love with this cute guy?

But surely, the love has gone. Right? He, too, seemed not to remember anything about it.

Then.... the calamity came. Ala- ala tsunami gitu. We were struggling to get on their royal ship. Di tengah- tengah kekalutan dan kecemasan itu, something at the back of my mind seemed to be unsealed. Memories from the past flowed continuously. Our eyes met, and his expression is telling me that he is experiencing the same thing. The seal has been broken. The feelings that were kept for countless years unlocked.

Our love has re-awakened.

*Distantly... I thought I heard Upin-Ipin ringtone...*

Demmit. It's morning dah.

(Only God knows how much grammar mistakes above.)

Interesting day

0

We were supposed to mind our own business in the wards today, but somehow got entangled with MV again.

As always, we were screwed.

As always - Stupid. Bloody fools. Bodohs. (oh, hari ini tak ada lah teruk sangat mood dia, maka vocab nya pun terhad kepada beberapa perkataan sahaja. Tambah satu lagi -bodohs.)

*amused*

Then, while a senior was doing abdominal inspection under his supervision, his attention shifted to a girl (also a senior). And he started to remind her why she had failed the previous exam. That she had missed a surgical scar and tell the panels that her patient did not have any previous abdominal surgery before. She tried to say something but was cut off by him. And he went on ranting. (at this point, I was not sure whether it was REALLY her that MV thought he was referring to. Oh well.)

Then after sometime, she left the group suddenly dan tak pulang- pulang sampai lah habis session dengan MV. And dalam keadaan separa marah tu MV kata - Pesan kat budak tu lain kali jangan keluar daripada kelas after signing attendance. Kalau nak consult dengan psychiatrist pun jangan time macam ni. Not acceptable.-

Melihat kami yang terpinga-pinga, dia menyuruh salah seorang daripada kami menghubungi girl itu. Temannya cakaplah, dah try dua kali dah, tapi tak berangkat. Then he said to the friend
- Come follow me, we'll see if I'm right. Come let's see Swaminathan.-

Dan kami ternganga.

Swaminathan adalah HOD of Psychiatry.

Dan kami berpandangan sesama sendiri. Betul ke?

Interesting.

Impacted wax

20 May 2009 2

Saya sudah sedia maklum saya ada impacted wax di telinga kanan saya. Tapi saya tak endahkan.

Saya ke klinik tadi. (at last) Seorang diri je. Saya katalah telinga saya sakit. The he otoscoped me. Pastu dia tepuk belakang saya- Hey, you got impacted wax!- (ke dia sebut infected, saya pun tak pasti).

Dan saya dapat MC.

Saya berkira- kira sama ada mahu ke hospital atau tidak petang ni. Ada rasa seperti mahu. Tapi bila mendapat tahu Mr George yang akan datang mengambil kelas kami, saya pun; 'Oh, tak apalah gitu. Aku makan ubat dan rehat saja lah.'

I am bad.

-ghost-

0

Disebabkan pengaruh housemate2 saya, saya pun tertengok juga series Ghost kat 8tv online. Instantly liked it.

Right now, beberapa titik air mata baru je jatuh ke pipi while I was watching.

Hairan? Tengok cerita hantu boleh menangis?

But... just imagine... We have been living with a companion ghost (oh yeah, he can talk, move things around, and cheeky too), as a housemate for a few weeks. He's funny, irritating, gets on your nerves, protective, annoying (now, kenapa saya mix kan the good and bad qualities?). Dia lah teman, dia lah tempat bergaduh. Walaupun di mulut kata dah tak mahu dah tolong dia cari siapa pembunuh dia, tapi actions speaks the opposite.

And suddenly, after waking up from a month-long coma, *poooof* he's gone.

Loneliness.

Empty.

And while Eza was brushing her hair in front of the mirror, Zack's image's behind her whispering - lawa nampak?-. And when she turned around....

Nothing.

*sniff, sniff*

-cuti-

0

I am not well.

My nose is running. My head's heavy. My ear ached.

Orang kata pergi klinik jumpa Dr amek ubat, kenapa degil?

Sebab saya rasa sakit saya ni tak adalah teruk sangat sampai deserve nak jumpa Dr.

But sakit itu buatkan kelas itu terasa boleh dipontengkan ya?

I need rest. I've been hard headed with this illness, pretending that I am stronger for 4 days, and I'm tired. Exhausted of fighting.

Go. Clinic.

obsessed

17 May 2009 2

A somebody said she's obsessed with me.

Fine. I'm writing, oookay?

I'm having sore throat since yesterday's morning and my kepala felt heavy. Tapi semalam bukan pi rehat pun. The whole day I spent at the movie theater, buat marathon Star Trek & Angels and Demons. Mana lah tak jadi melarat. ( oh, and plus aku tak makan ubat.haha)

Ooooh. Tapi memang berbaloi- baloi cerita- cerita tu. Saya yang tak pernah langsung tengok cerita Star Trek pun jadi suka padanya. Maybe its because Jim T. Kirk itu kelakar, ataupun saya tertarik dengan Spock yang cool itu. Mungkin juga budak Rusia yang pelat itu mencuit- cuit hati saya? (Wictor wictor 2. haha).

Angels & Demons... hmm...well, I have to admit that I felt a bit of disappointment because the storyline a little bit off from the novel. But of course it's understandable that it's impossible to follow exactly like the original story, sampai esok pagi pun tak habis kalau macam tu.
- CERN director was not there (his role later was replaced by Richter)
- Silvano was not Vittoria's father, instead her aged lab partner.
- The research about anti- matter actually had a team ( originally only Vittoria and his father know about it.)
- The 4 kidnapped cardinals was supposed to die, but one (Cardinal Baggia) remained alive.
- The kidnapper should be an Arab, and was killed by Langdon instead of being blown by a bomb planted in the car.
-Silvano's chest was not branded with the Illuminati ambigram.
- The last brand was supposed to be the diamond-shaped-combination of the four elements.

Wah... sebenarnya banyak lagi ni. Tapi tak larat lah nak fikir, macam buat research pula.

Enough for now. For that somebody, cukup- cukup la obses ke aku. Haha. Ambil ni buat penghilang rindu. :D

sepertinya

13 May 2009 2

I noticed something.

I've becoming more and more like him. My actions, the way that I am uncertain to commit to something in the future (seperti, janji dengan orang nak tengok wayang).

Ada orang mengajak saya ke panggung weekend ni. Tengok star trek. Saya kata saya tak pasti, tak boleh nak janji kerana takut ada apa2 came up last2 minute. Then dia kata, dia dah ajak dulu, so jadi 1st priority lah kan pelawaannya itu.

But no, saya tak dapat nak set kepala saya dengan konsep priority tu. No, I've become immuned to that way of thinking. Aku sendiri pun subconsciously dah tak berfikiran macam tu. At least, not prone to think like that.

In other words, I've become more selfish.

Bravo girl.

blub

12 May 2009 2

Aima completed the quiz "What do men TRULY think of you?" with the result You're a PRETTY GOOD catch!.

You are cute, sweet and you have a good sense of humor. Men like your quiet confidence and are drawn to your sensible nature. Sometimes you are hard to read, which might be one of your downfalls. You either tend to tell men everything or nothing at all and occasionally your shy nature gets in the way of someone really getting to know the real you. Never be afraid to be the great woman that you are and seek out a man who will love you for all your endearing qualities. If you are still single..chances are, soon you'll find him..or he'll find you. Buy yourself a great outfit today..and get out there!!.

Above were my results (ha ha,mcm tak percaya je aku paste result kuiz facebook kat sini).

Because I have such low self esteem especially around XY, and I don't think that... um... macamana nak kata... they see me as a girl. ha ha. Quite ridiculous, I know.

But, moreover, it's just me. I almost lost my identity. The girl who arrived in Manipal 4 years ago, was not the same as the girl I am now. I used to not care (much) of what they thought of me and I just went my way and somehow my life intertwined with theirs. And I was content with that.

Going my own way. Not thinking about the stupid things. Only things that I want to do and that will make me happy. Call me selfish. I don't care.

Yep, I like the sound of that.

(ini adalah sesi merapu di kala penat seharian di hospital)

a mere boy

3

He's just a mere boy of 18. Baru je abis sekolah. And I would've never dreamed that I would think of him. Not to mention that he changed my way of thinking.

Oh tidak.

Tapi dia sangat menarik perhatian saya. Semua orang boleh tengok betapa he loved to perform. Everybody can see his passion. He was not thinking of doing only his best, tapi dia fikir yang boleh buat audience nya entertained. Dan bila saya dengar dia bawa lagu Situasi dari Bunkface, I was captured by him.

Dan...

bila aku start minat Akim je, fikiran dan stand aku dah mula berubah. I started to think, "Hm... xkisah dahlah kalau nak bercinta dengan orang yang lagi muda pun."

Oh God.

Sideline

11 May 2009 0

We just had our briefing by the dean, deputy dean and the head of departments.

There'll be heavy responsibility on our shoulder now, as a final year medical student.

As our deputy dean said, put the other things on the sideline 1st. Only one year left, and there'll be many more years ahead of us to catch up with things.

But as he said, apa yang orang lain kata, take it and tailor it to our needs. Jangan ambil bulat- bulat aja. Yang sakit nanti diri sendiri kalau tak boleh nak cope.

back to school

10 May 2009 0

OOooooH....

Malasnya nak mula sekolah semula selepas 5 minggu cuti2 Malaysia.

Tapi papa kata... redha dengan apa yang ada di depan kita, elak dari merungut- rungut. Apa yang datang, kita embrace. Dan mohon dipermudahkan segala urusan. InsyAllah Yang Maha Esa akan intervene dengan cara-Nya sendiri. ( Bolehkah saya kata sneaky? Kerana saya rasa agak comel aja cara Allah selit- selitkan bantuanNya secara kita tidak sedari.)

Bila fikir- fikir semula;
Ada hikmah saya ke KT. :)

Ada hikmah mereka berdua tidak dapat placement di JB.

Kalau tidak saya akan berseorangan di sana. Apa nak buat kalau begitu? Tinggal di tempat orang seorang dara.

Saya dapat peluang berkenalan dengan sepasang suami isteri yang telah dikurniakan Allah dengan hati yang sangat baik.

Saya belajar untuk tidak merosakkan cuti orang lain dengan berkata benda yang bukan- bukan.

Saya belajar untuk sabar dan tidak fikir yang bukan- bukan.

Saya belajar untuk tahan hati dengan benda yang saya tak suka.

Saya tau saya memang allergic dengan orang itu dan tak mungkin ada apa- apa yang boleh menghilangkan allergic itu.




Dudu

07 May 2009 0

would you just tell??? jangan la main teka teki macam tu. ' figure it out eventually?' Mana nak tau kalau tak diberitahu??

Anggun oh Anggun...!

Cakap je la 'What's the meaning of this video??'

Or...

You can just have faith in him.

But then... she just lost her father. Understandable lah kenapa dia cepat upset.

Puteh pun...kejarlah dia tanya kenapa!!!

Kau-Aku

2

Kau Dan Aku

Kau dan aku ,adalah satu
Tak kira apa
Segala rintihan aku ,engkau selalu ada
Biar kata memisah kita
Biarkan saja
Kerana terbiasa

Chorus :
Mengejar mimpi ,yang pasti akan aku
Sentiasa merasa kehilanganmu
Ku akan tunggu saat bertemu
Tiada henti
Walau dimana kita berdiri
Di dalam dunia ini
Biar sampai akhirnya nanti

Semua tak terang di mataku ,walau warnanya menyala
Ingin merasa namun aku takkan cuba
Biar kata memisah kita
Biarkan saja
Kerana terbiasa
Ooohhh.

Mengejar mimpi ,yang pasti akan aku
Sentiasa merasa kehilanganmu
Ku akan tunggu saat bertemu
Tiada henti
Walau dimana kita berdiri
Di dalam dunia ini
Biar sampai akhirnya nanti
Biar sampai akhirnya nanti
Ooohhh..Oohhh..Ooohhh

Quoting a conversation with a friend of mine

him : merah muke mcm tahi....
him : tahi pon lg ensem
him : merah x ensem lgsg
me : well
me : at least i defy the statement that perempuan tgk lelaki hensem je
me : aku suka attitude dia lah
me : maka muka nya turut jadi cantik
me : ha ha
him : mendenye attitude cantik
him: minum arak
him: pehtu prasan sendri
him : pehtu nk mara2 plak
him : pehtu emo gile bapak
him :buruk bapak attitude
him : pergh taste engko

me : anggun pun xpernah cakap yang sebetulnya

me : at least he;s honest

me : anggun dengan putih asik main aci sorok je

him : dah tu

him : tgk prangai merah tu camtu

him : ate nk bgtau direct

me : bgtau awal2

him : prangai mcm tahi

him : putih mmg xdpt di nafikan

him : sgt lembik

him : nk hrp anggun je wat keje

me : ha ha

him : tp merah

him : mmg extremist

him : mcm siot juga

him : hahaha

him : aku minat cite tu sbb dialog mulan ngan mak die

me : tu kerana dia sayang both puteh n anggun deeply lah ngok

him : mcm bes ile

him : hahahah

me : (haha, sama lah sebenarnya)

him : mende sayang mcm cilake nk pkol puteh

me : i won't even get started on this




01 May 2009 0

Saya dah selamat kembali ke pantai barat. Alhamdulillah.

Penat juga drive jauh- jauh ni. Ni pun tak hilang lagi penatnya.

Petang ni akan ke Klang untuk majlis nikah sepupu saya. Bakal teman hidupnya adalah senior saya di KUSESS dahulu.

Saya biasa dengar nama dia masa sekolah dulu but I could not place his face. Bila tengok gambar dia di FS cousin saya tu pun saya tak cam juga. Sepupu saya kata dia pernah bersama dengan seorang senior perempuan yang memang saya kenal, dan disahkan oleh kawan saya. Tapi... saya tetap tak ingat. ha ha.

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