'Dia'

'Dia' made me feel:

- I'm not alone
- Protected
- Pretty
- I am able to do anything I want
- special

Big question- will I ever find a 'dia' that will make me feel that way again?
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dari kejauhan

Niiiiceeee....!

dream a little dream

mimpi malam tadi adalah sangat surreal. sangat menakutkan.

terasa sangat real, sampai bila terjaga aku sampai - omg, it's only a dream.

permainan hati sangat bahaya.

but it was nice to be wanted.

the frightening thing was, i wanted it too in the dream. and of course, it's impossible in reality.

gadis auwww

gadis ambik pic nie terbaiklah..huhuu terp2

Macam klasik pulak bila di-gelar gadis. ahaks. (actually mereka yang klasik kerana menggelar budak perempuan gadis. comel.)

I've had it. 

I don't trust either of them. I could not. Siapa kau untuk aku percaya tanpa sebarang bukti, atau percaya walaupun ada evidence against it? Susah nak kata. 

Silap perkiraan kiranya kali ini. Busy body pada orang yang salah. atau pasangan yang salah. 

I don't know what game are they playing right now and I don't want to know. But I better stayed out of it. Only few days in the midst of their conflicts, dan aku jadi lunyai. Yang sana terjah tak pasal- pasal tak ada hujung pangkal, yang sana kata tak ada buat apa- apa. cukup le luncai. she couldn't have known unless she hacked it, atau he told her. whichever is it, i've had it. 

and i'm pissed off. agak kurang pandai kan kalau kata aku suka pada mamat tu hanya kerana aku kata macaroons itu nampak nice. 

what the hell is that supposed to mean? you know me better than that nak tanya soalan tak berapa pandai macam tak cukup akal tu. 

even aku salah perkiraan, tapi aku sekali pun tak tipu. i might be concealing some truth to avoid some friction, but i never did lie. I DID NOT LIE. 

and due to the pissed-offness, aku hantar sms yang agak kasar itu.

end of story. aku takmau ambil tahu lagi.

you are better than that. why are you doing all this?

doo dah

sampai mati aku takkan cakap benda ni depan dia. 

but i think it was sweet of him to offer me his benadryl when he saw me terbatuk- batuk masa makan. aku ingat dia offer- offer ayam saja, sekali dia seluk kocek keluarkan bena taruk atas meja. 

ok fine, kau dah kasi, aku ambil je lah. 

still, that was unexpected. nanti aku indent yang baru untuk kau. 

due to some reasons, aku terasa sentap gila dan kecil hati hari ni. and i kinda cried on my way to the hospital. sajalah singgah sebentar kat bawah nak bertegur sapa sebelum naik ke atas. tengah- tengah berbual pendek tu, datanglah my previously most wanted person.

ok, eventhough dah tak ada pun heart-stoppin/ heart- racing , tongue tied event, still he himself is a reason to smile. as in today, a good enough reason to smile after a good cry. 

muka comot lepas nangis pun dia boleh kata ada tanda- tanda gembira. 

and bila kata aku tengah berduka lara- suruh pasang spO2 pulak.

lepas tu masuk trick lama mengata aku sombong/ nampak aku dating kat mana2 bergesel bahu dengan dia pun tak perasan. 

appeda!

tapi dah tak sedih sangat dah lepas tu. tapi still kecik ati. 

Tuhan tak kasi duk dalam perasaan tak best lama- lama.

i'm cirrhotic

bila aku kata pada orang aku tak banyak cakap, memang sungguh aku tak banyak cakap. dan aku orang belakang tabir.

aku tak kasitau orang benda yang aku buat. it have caused a lot of misunderstandings, but i don't like to explain myself, sebabnya, aku tak suka orang explain benda kat aku and made me felt like an idiot for misjudging them. and so aku tak de lah buat kat orang macam tu. dan aku tak nak sound macam mengungkit sebab aku tak ungkit! i do have some sour feelings over a certain things, tapi aku tau tak patut aku ulang- ulang fikir pasal tu sbb dah jadi responsibility. tapi bila orang naikkan hal berkaitan dengan tu, secara tak langsung aku teringat semula and the sour feeling datang balik. ish jadi macam tak ikhlas pula.

i judge. only God knows that i judge. but most of the time i kept the judgement to myself. sebab aku tak perfect, dan aku ni siapa nak jugde orang. and tak semestinya judgement tu betul pada orang tu. turned out tak betul pun, and that time sangat thankful mulut tak laju keluar statement apa- apa. i mean, ko tau ke dia orang macamana? ko tau ke apa yang dia buat? ko tau ke seluruh masalah dia? ko tau ke mana duit dia pergi? -- tak kan? u don't even know berapa gaji orang tu. u don't even know whether dia keluarkan duit ke tak untuk benda2 yang  dikata dia tak keluarkan duit tu. did u see the bills? no? did u see your account? no? 

kecik hati aku bila orang kata aku tak ada benda nak dibayar or aku tak ada family nak ditanggung, and gaji aku besar so kenapa aku tak ada duit.

...........

really i can't answer that. sebab bila explain akan nampak macam sangat trivia dan sangat bodoh.

because i don't know.

Jejak kasihan

Sekian lama tak berjumpa dengan jiah, sekali jumpa terus berlaku sebabak jejak kasih di tengah jalan.

Dan berlarutan ke old town sambil bergosip-gosipan.

nom nom

Simply because I love to eat.

Delightful

All delightful creatures are married.

Or maybe they are delightful because they are blisfully happy with their marriage.

Aint that nice?

Can I be delightful even if I'm not married?

edfc vs remaja bangi

We won 3-1!
Aku sampai agak lambat sikit tadi sebab hujan kat seri putra.tapi kat bangi renyai saja rupanya. Sampai je tadi game dah start tak tau berapa lama- tapi apparently baru satu half saja. Dah berapa goal pun aku tak tau.

This pic was snapped unintentionally, but it turned out to be my best shot. Cantik woh flying header satu!